So when I signed the papers to take on the Executive Director position, I had a teeny tiny nagging feeling that I'd probably find myself doing some things that I had never really done before. Well, today, that tiny nagging feeling is now a punch-me-in-the-face reality.
As the title of this blog suggests, I am comfortable being behind the scenes. My idea of getting wild is to make small-talk to people when I'm in line at Starbucks. I know what you're thinking. You can't just talk to strangers like that, but sometimes I just do it, man. I'm crazy like that.
So tonight I found myself doing something I never thought I would ever do as long as I live.
Dancing.
Choreographed dancing.
To country music.
And if that's not crazy enough, in a few short months, I will be performing said dance, and several others in front of hundreds of people on a well-lit stage, while some other lucky introvert takes my beloved hiding spot behind the sound desk.
That's right, as of tonight, there's a new skating rink in hell, folks.
So a brief synopsis of how it went. First off, I get partnered with a nice young lady, who is likely half my age, half my size and quick on her feet. We're paired up like a moose and a cat. Fear starts to creep in as the choreographer gives a breakdown of the first 8 steps and I'm already lost on step 2 which literally consisted of tipping my "hat" for a 4 count, and then hooking my thumbs in my "belt loops". We're not even dancing yet and I've already forgotten step one. The cat, on the other hand, only needs to be shown once and off she goes, each step and turn perfectly executed. Great. Fantastic. I'm back in Kindergarten and all the other kids already know how to tie their shoes.
Somehow I manage to stumble and trip my way through the routine like a stiff out-of-sync robot until we get to the end where there's this weird jumpy thing. Hop once to the right on your left leg, twice to the left on your right leg and then reverse, rinse, repeat. It's at this point as I'm hopping randomly about in a display worthy of failblog.org that I realize: I'm that guy. You know, The Awkward Guy. I'm Will Ferrell with a cowbell, but nobody's asking for more cowbell.
Then comes the video. Now, thanks to the wonders of the digital age, you can totally humiliate yourself and then literally seconds later, relive that humiliation from a totally new point of view. It's great. Just in case you weren't sure if anyone could tell that you feel like a cow on rollerskates, you now can confirm that yes, other people are definitely picking that up.
All in all, I'm glad I'm doing this, though. I will get better. I will find my inner dancer. I will also lose some weight because the camera only adds 10 pounds, which doesn't account for all that extra McLovin I got going on.
